Love With Your Head and Not Just Your Heart

The concept of love has been romanticized, sprayed with perfume and wrapped up in a pretty bow for a long time. The “idea” of love is always more attractive then the reality of love and that what has tainted people’s expectations of relationship should be. The butterflies in the stomach are nice and the euphoria of new love is amazing but there come a point when you have to make the hard decision of “Is love enough?” Case in point my I was IN LOVE with my ex-boyfriend, I mean crazy all consuming, irrational, head over heels in love. At he beginning it was wonderful, he courted me, he treated me like a princess and as much as I resisted I feel hard. The problem was as much as I loved him the stars and the glitter faded and the reality of who he was became clear and it did not match up with what what i wanted for my live in the present and the future. I mean it OK for opposite to attract but we were becoming like night and day. He was a smoker and I was a non-smoker, I was churchgoing and he had dubious feeling about God and religion. I valued family and maintained close bond with them and he barely spoke to his. I had to decide if love was enough to make up for the differences and if in the long run would it be enough to sustain the lone haul.

As you can obviously tell by me referring to him as my EX-boyfriend, I decided love was not enough. I had to be realistic with myself, with what I wanted for that moment and for the future. I wouldn't be happy in the long run just living on love and not thinking about marriage, kids, money, faith, careers, and ambitions. My heart said I love him but my head said is this going to be a real functional long-term relationship?, and sadly the answer was No! Cut to almost 2 year later I am in a new relationship, in LOVE, happy and with someone that make sense to both my heart and my head, and I have no regrets about the decision I made.

Cheaper to Keep Her

So as much as I have other important thing going on in my life and not much time for the proverbial BS and the gossip (well I do have a little time, gossip blogs are addictive). I had and interesting conversation this weekend with one of my male friends about the whole Nas and Kelis situation (not familiar Google it). His position was that it is crazy that Nas has to pay her (Kelis) so much money and just because she had his baby she still does not need that much money. Not surprisingly most of my male friends expressed similar sentiments. My opinion is it has nothing to do with male or female you shouldn't’t need a judge to make you want to take care of your family. Britney Spears had pay a monumental amount to her ex in child support and alimony monthly because of the kids and to keep him in a life that he was a custom to while they were married explain to me why Nas shouldn't do the same? It based on your income not just some man hating judge out to get men and make them pay. Russell Simmons pays his ex $40,000 a month in child support and did it without a judge’s order he said because he want to take care of his children.....so tell me why it so WRONG the amount that Nas has to pay Kelis (his wife) and for his child. If they could have handled it behind the scenes there would have been no need for a court order forcing him to pay, and why should you be forced to PAY for your own child, step up and do the right thing! And as far as the alimony she wasn't working the whole time they were married, he knew that and he knew who he was marrying. When was the last time you heard a Kelis album REALLY like 2004. He had no problem with it before when things were good now he doesn't want to pay, I don't feel sorry for him at all…....ever heard the saying it’s cheaper to keep her, guess Nasir just found that out!

Just Because....

Will Demps is so damn fine I hade to post this pic.....Enjoy
Thanks to Panache Report for this delicious pic.

Just Because Its Friday....

If this doesn't make your day better then give up and try again tomorrow, and when you have no one else to blame...... blame it in "the boogie"!

Let Go If Its Not Working!

Let begin by stating the obvious: Relationships are hard work!
They are compromise, struggle, and often sacrifice. It take a lot of effort on both parties part to help the relationship thrive. with that being said there is a difference between working on your relationship and struggling in a relationship that doesn't work. Case in point my relationship with my ex-boyfriend (quintessential tattooed up bad boy) there was ALWAYS an issues, it was a constant fight on every basis level to make it work (me doing most of the work). It just wasn't healthy for both of us (but especially me). He even proposed to me by text message (I am sooo serious, but that is another story for another time) I had to break it off. If your relationship is always coming apart at the seams, stop running in with needle and thread trying to repair it. If its always broke don't fix it THROW IT OUT COMPLETELY!
My message for today is: Don't keep trying to fix a relationship that is clearly not working, don't be afraid to walk away. If its a struggle just to simply be together you are better apart!

song of the day: I Just Wanna Be Loved- Jill Scott

Hosea Chanchez - New Music

I had to post this because I adore Hosea Chanchez from the show The Game. This is new music from him that i jacked from Concrete Loop (http://concreteloop.com)

Follow the link and tell me what you think: http://concreteloop.com/2009/07/hot-or-not-hosea-kancer

What is the Appeal?

Ok I'm in the mood for a random rant, this is what happens when your home all day with too much time on your hands. This is my top 5 list of people or things that I don's understand other people's love for...

1. Drake- you will always be Wheelchair Jimmy from Dregrassi to me, you aren't really bringing anything new to hip hop. so whats all the excitement about? (and we are not even gonna discuss "The Breast I Ever Had Video"


2. Jay-Z DOA-....aren't you supposed to be retired


3. The Stanky Leg, The Booty Do, The Jerk and every other stupid ass dance that I've seen teenage boys in tight ass jean doing over the past 9 months


4. VH1's "Love of" Shows- get some self esteem ladies and a visit to the free clinic will be in order


5. The Real Housewives of Atlanta & New Jersey- if you Black, Italian, or a white girl with a bad wig I'd like to introduce you to the caricature the rest of the world now thinks you are

Lazy Saturday & Drama Free Summer

I keep seeing the trailer for GI Joe and i have questions, When did Marlon Wayans become the sexy one? Didn't see that one coming, but now I've got even more incentive to want to see it. It was so damn hot today I didn't leave the house, passed on going to a BBQ, but the night is now breezy and calm. I may go out for drinks with the girls, we went out Thursday night for the usual drinks, food, girl talk combo at Applebee's and we had the worst waiter EVER.
Anyway the summer so far have been drama free (knock on wood). No ex-boyfriends who won't stay EX and no issues with the current boyfriend. Me and the girls are still are making plans to hit Miami in a couple of weeks I'll keep you posted!

Later

Vacation and MJ Burnout

Ok I know everybody has weighted in on Michael Jackson's passing but I've got to weight in on it, so let me have my official Chris Crocker moment and say LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE. Let the poor man rest in peace. He is gone now, stop exploiting him and his memory. If speculation were dollars then we be out of this recession! I'm suffering MJ burnout, I've been a fan since I was a kid but with all this continualy coverage the media has fished this lake dry. Let the man's family grieve, let his kids have some privacy, and please do not give Joe Jackson another reason to be anywhere on my television. I been on vacation for last 2 week and I go back on Friday.....it was fun while it lasted. I get another week off in August hopeful me and the girls can get down Miami if my funds are right...the recession is real y'all!

Later

My Soundtrack of the Day- N.E.R.D- She Wants To Move