You never miss the water till the well run BONE dry

Sooooo,

For the past 2 weeks since I've given my resignation notice to my job I have seen an interesting phenomenon happening: Appreciation! All the words that I needed to hear, all the accolades that I've deserved, and all the accommodations that I wanted have been given to me. Its funny how me leaving have prompted my supervisors to treat me the way I should have been treated in the first place. Now that I am leaving they can really appreciate the contribution that I brought to the staff (hell the the whole organization). I've worked hard on my career for the last 9 years I worked my way up from a receptionist and busted my hump to complete my education while doing my job. All I wanted was to be acknowledgement for my hard work and the promotion that I deserved. I knew my worth, too bad they didn't realize it until it was too late, or maybe they did and just didn't want to let me rise above they people they wanted in those positions. I admit I didn't play politics, I didn't kiss up to the all boys club and make nice with the powers that be. I was too busy working my ass off to do the best job possible and make sure that we met our goals (often even to the detriment of my personal life ). I won't look back and think what I should have done because I did my best and I am moving on to a better job, and it is their loss trust me. Well you know how the saying goes you never miss the water until the well runs dry. I hope they survive the drought

XOXOOX
Nikki

Franklin Has Left the Building!!!!

So after months of unhappiness, stress, and disappointment.......... I got a new JOB.

I am going from higher education to working with a non profit on the secondary school level. I'm excited, I start in my new position on August 30th but it is a bitter sweet transition. I've worked for my old job for the past 9 years so it is a significant chunk of my 20's. I wish the best to the next "Franklin" that takes my place (if they decide to even hire another "one") but for right now FRANKLIN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

XOXOXOX
Nikki New Job!

Why do we love the "Bad Boy"

So I tuned into The Wendy "How you doing" Williams (don't judge me) because I heard Jaheim was going to be performing. His latest album is in heavy rotation in my Zune as of late and I own all of the previous albums as well. It's not just his amazing voice which is so reminiscent of old soul crooners but I am so attracted to his "street" edge (and ashamed to admit it). This made me ponder the "woman say they want a good man but go for the bad boy" argument. My late 20's was my last indulgence with "bad boy" he had tattoos everywhere, an AMAZING body, and a pension for running the streets. We knew each other when we were younger and reconnected. I though he just wanted to be friends (1st mistake) so I paid his overtures no mind, and I even remember saying to my best friend that "He was SO not the man for me, he is not the type of man I want or need as a partner"(famous last words). Fast forward a couple of months him chasing me hard, I gave in and began a relationship with him. On top of that I had the nerve to fall in love (2nd mistake), well long story short after a couple of months of dating, a break up, a year of off and on again, and a marriage proposal by text message (yet again another blog post for another time) I finally walked away. A couple of month later when I wasn't looking I met my current beau the "good guy". He is polar opposite no street edge or tattoos, he goes to church every Sunday, he is close with his family, works 2 jobs, and treats me like gold. He is everything I could have asked for in a man plus some, he didn't come how I imagined him but he defiantly came the way I needed him. So I guess my "bad boy" fantasies will be reserved for my Jaheim albums, because my "good man" reality is so much better.

XOXOXO
Nikki

PS- Jaheim's album "Another Round" will be available for digital download for $5 during the month of April, its and excellent album.

Brand Spanking New Year

So 2009 finally left the building, and thank God it did. Not that I am not thank full for another year of life but 2009 was something else.

Happy 2010 People

Anywho here we are again, me and my random thoughts and you and your short attention span, we are quite a pair! So I did the usual on New Year Eve, too much champagne with my boyfriends, twilight zone marathon, and falling asleep before 2. I know we are LAME and we accept that (and acceptance is the first step right). I've made my resolutions....Beginning with to stop cursing so much, my mouth has gotten a little reckless and my niece is at that I repeat everything I hear age so I've got to get it together. Still I just KNOW someone stupid is just waiting around the corner to make me relapse REALLY HARD. Well for the most part I am back to the same grind, at the same job, but a new outlook and a renewed drive it time to make a move and I think this is my year to do it! If you want it people stop waiting for it to come to you and go get it!

XOXOXOX
The Stiletto One

P.S.
Here is a gift for you in my secret shoe Box - a leaked new MJ collaboration with Lenny Kravits: go to hear it
http://www.lovebscott.com/2010/01/04/new-music-michael-jackson-ft-lenny-kravitz-another-day/

Transitions

So essentially it seems everything in my life right now is conspiring against me to make me change.........

Ok, let me stop that sounded really over dramatic, but there is some truth it in. I guess when I started transitioning my hair it ushered in the desire to make transitional changes in other parts of my life. Currently my career is at a standstill, my job which i am great at has now become a joyless repetitive paycheck. I no longer get the same fulfillment that I got out of it as little as a year ago. Its time for me to Act 3 of this little play of life and I not sure in what direction to go.....sigh
It has come to point where i have to metaphorically fly or die and I am not longer satisfied with wither under these stage lights. OK that my internal struggle rant for the day {For your daily dose of ME follow me on Twitter: Nikki_Stiletto}

Peace and Blessing People

Nikki S.

Love With Your Head and Not Just Your Heart

The concept of love has been romanticized, sprayed with perfume and wrapped up in a pretty bow for a long time. The “idea” of love is always more attractive then the reality of love and that what has tainted people’s expectations of relationship should be. The butterflies in the stomach are nice and the euphoria of new love is amazing but there come a point when you have to make the hard decision of “Is love enough?” Case in point my I was IN LOVE with my ex-boyfriend, I mean crazy all consuming, irrational, head over heels in love. At he beginning it was wonderful, he courted me, he treated me like a princess and as much as I resisted I feel hard. The problem was as much as I loved him the stars and the glitter faded and the reality of who he was became clear and it did not match up with what what i wanted for my live in the present and the future. I mean it OK for opposite to attract but we were becoming like night and day. He was a smoker and I was a non-smoker, I was churchgoing and he had dubious feeling about God and religion. I valued family and maintained close bond with them and he barely spoke to his. I had to decide if love was enough to make up for the differences and if in the long run would it be enough to sustain the lone haul.

As you can obviously tell by me referring to him as my EX-boyfriend, I decided love was not enough. I had to be realistic with myself, with what I wanted for that moment and for the future. I wouldn't be happy in the long run just living on love and not thinking about marriage, kids, money, faith, careers, and ambitions. My heart said I love him but my head said is this going to be a real functional long-term relationship?, and sadly the answer was No! Cut to almost 2 year later I am in a new relationship, in LOVE, happy and with someone that make sense to both my heart and my head, and I have no regrets about the decision I made.