Harmless Flirtation

So the big East Coast Blizzard is over, kind of anti climatic for me because

1. We didn't get as much snow as predicted
2. It happened on a Saturday night which mean it would not result in a day off on Monday....Whomp Whomp :-(

Anywho I was leaving the house this morning to go to work and make the most of may last three days before Christmas break and I got a call on my cell phone from a colleague. We work in the same type of business and have had to deal with each other (ONLY on a professional level) for the past 2 years. (*Note: I realize that I am vague about what I do for a living but I got to keep some things private, but in the interest for some disclosure I work in Education and that is all I will say). The thing is we have been doing this coy harmless flirting dance for the past 2 years. Now neither one of us have actual verbalized any intentions but you can tell there is "something" in there. So he called me to thank me for a Christmas card I sent him and to wish me a Happy Holidays (and the I hear a collective Mmmm huhhhh right). So we usually chat for a bit and talk shop in our very best phone voices. I am in a relationship so I don't lend to much thought into our impromptu conversations, but I have to wonder is there really such thing as "harmless" flirting? Ohhhh yeah did I forget to mentions that he is about 6"1, chocolate brown, college educated, and has a Barry White baritone....huh forgot to mention that (funny how that happens). Anyways if I don't muster up the time or energy to blog again this week
Happy Holidays and Hugs & Kisses

I Know I Know

OK so I'm wack, I get it....i promise to post and don't, I've got more excuses then Tiger Woods in a room full of blonde's I know I know. But I digress life as usual has me in a vice grip and leaves little time for leisure (plus I a procrastinator so that doesn't help!). The holidays are upon us and that means food, fun and family...... For the most part I enjoy being around my family but over Thanksgiving we had some issue with my Grandmother that has me ready to hibernate out until New Year's. My grandmother has decided that she wants to project her Daddy issues onto my father, brother, and cousin and its pissing me off. So I am trying everything in my power not to turn Christmas into a Jerry Springer episode. So lets see how this all turns out. Anyways onto my latest all consuming focus MY HAIR!!!! So I am in month 5 of my transition and I have had some days when I was not dealing well with two texture and left the house looking WRONG. My curl pattern is much curlier in the back then in the front and my hair takes forever to dry. I am also playing mad scientist with styles and products. Well my new product addiction is a post for another time.

XOXOXOX
N.

Transitions

So essentially it seems everything in my life right now is conspiring against me to make me change.........

Ok, let me stop that sounded really over dramatic, but there is some truth it in. I guess when I started transitioning my hair it ushered in the desire to make transitional changes in other parts of my life. Currently my career is at a standstill, my job which i am great at has now become a joyless repetitive paycheck. I no longer get the same fulfillment that I got out of it as little as a year ago. Its time for me to Act 3 of this little play of life and I not sure in what direction to go.....sigh
It has come to point where i have to metaphorically fly or die and I am not longer satisfied with wither under these stage lights. OK that my internal struggle rant for the day {For your daily dose of ME follow me on Twitter: Nikki_Stiletto}

Peace and Blessing People

Nikki S.

Maxwell & Aunt Flo!!!

You know my love for Maxwell runs deep, he is talented and sexy, and if you have been to any of his concerts he is clearly lets his freak flag fly. So I had to post the following:
I came across this on www.bossip.com a couple of weeks back, it was a quote from Maxwell during one of his concerts its about sex with a woman on her period......yeah I am not commenting on this one click the link and talk amoung yourself lol -> http://bossip.com/163656/maxwell-i-dont-care-if-youre-riding-the-crimson-wave-just-put-some-towels-down/

Being MIA and NYC Freeze

We are experiencing early WINTER WEATHER in NYC and I am NOT a fan. The city that never sleeps should not be covered in frost in October!

Ok I've been busy..... hell I just been to tired and preoccupied to blog......don't judge me! Between my home life, a impromptu to trip to the south, and a few 12 hour work day my mind was elsewhere, hell even my feet are are not into it, I haven rocked a pair of 3 inch heels in a minute. But I am sure you'll are not interested in my whining so I will stop here.....but I will preference that with I had things to do, I had 99 problems and a blog ain't one lol. I promise to be better in the future and keep you up with the randomness that is my life (especially if it is juicy, potentially scandalous, or end with me getting some shoes). Anywhoo XOXOX and all that good stuff

for a really good read check out one of favorite bloggers Michael Arceneaux:
http://www.thecynicalones.com/ (for your daily dose of sarcasm follow him on Twitter)


Song of the Day: Musiq (from the Luvanmusiq Album) Greatest Love

My Kayne Rant......

I know everyone and their mother's have weighted in on the jackassary that is Kanye West drunken award show fiasco last night, but I have to add my 2 cent (of course). What he did was the equivalent of taking taking candy from a baby or showing up drunk or to thanksgiving dinner. What he did was destructive and selfish as hell, it wasn't about Beyonce's video, it was about him and his narcissistic belief that EVERYONE needs to hear his opinion. I wonder did he go outside and kick a puppy afterwards for good measure? You have to be a special kind of asshole to take away a moment from a talented 17 year old singer (goggle her if you don't know who she is) who has probably been dreaming of this for most of her life. Kayne we appreciate you reminding us what a complete jerk you can be and why narcissism is a mental illness. I appreciate Beyonce for being gracious and allowing Taylor the spotlight that she rightly deserved.

New York State of Mind

Its a dreary day in NYC, the weather is gray it 65 degrees and it is the day after the 8th Anniversary of 9/11. I can't believe it been 8 years, it all seems so vivid like it happened yesterday. Its still so sad to think of it and still heartbreaking to hear the victims names being read every year during the memorial. People always post 9/11 Never Forget, I don't think that is possible....... Going to see the new Tyler Perry movie tonight with the girls, hopefully it not a heavy handed preachy as his movies usually are. This week was really busy for me, the start of Fall always is, I am beyond exhausted. Not much else is going on, but trust me the next couple of weeks are gearing up to be crazy, thanks to my job, the cycle begins again.

XOXOXOX
The Stiletto One!

Never Miss The Water

OK I've been preoccupied again, not updating, blogging, twitter. I been crazy busy with work and I'm just been in a funk lately. The ghost of relationship past decide to come and haunt my house two weeks ago. Lets call him "Dexter", he is a extremely handsome WORKAHOLIC with Carmel brown skin, and a velvety island accent. We had and on and off relationship of convenience for both of us for about 2 1/2 years. Then he just disappear for the last two years. So he pops up at my job two weeks ago and offers to take me too lunch.....Now who am I to turn down a free meal (and an explanation of his Houdini act). Long story short we got a little something to eat and sat down and talked he told me about the two full time jobs he was working (again workaholic) and how his disappearance had nothing to do with me, to which I responded I know because I'm fabulous. He danced around the subject of us and if I was seeing anyone and then dropped me off back at my office with a hug and a promise to stay in touch. Now before you think I am playing with fire, I told the boyfriend about him and his reappearance and he trust me so I am not gonna screw that up (full disclosure in vital in a relationship). Anywho it goes back to the old adage you never miss the water until the well runs dry. Lets see if Dexter shows up with a well bucket again next time.

XOXOXOX
Nikki

Give It Up For The KING

TODAY
TOMORROW
FOREVER
MJ

Ex's and Explanations

It is another day of bipolar New York weather....it went from raining and mild last week to a heat wave this week. I guess I picked the right time to go natural because this is sweat out your relaxer weather. I am happy to be at work just because we have central air! I do wish I was at the beach thought right now, I gotten relatively no sun all summer. So on to today's randomness, I ran into a guy I dated for like two weeks in high school yesterday, and he introduced me his boss as his ex!!!! It was two weeks dude and you are really referring to me as your ex...really....I have shoes that I have had a longer intimate relationship with! Anywho the question of the day is how long do you have to be with someone to consider them an Ex?

Ponder

Sorry....Been Busy

Hello People,
Sorry I been busy tying up some loose ends and basically just enjoying some time off. So basically here is what you've missed while I've been on cyberspace vacation

1. I've decided to get off the "creamy crack" and stop using relaxers in my hair, I'm going natural


2. My uncle passed away from cancer


3. I introduced my boyfriend to the other side of the family and it went well


4. I found a new late night spot for me and the girls too sneak off too that has great cocktails


5. The ghost of ex-boyfriend past has made a reappearance thank to Facebook...Facebook is the devil


6. I got to see karma in action with some people who wronged me in the past but I took no satisfaction from it (maybe a little)


7. One of my friends gave birth to a daughter and it is a potential Maury situation....but that is for another blog post and another time!

Until next time my loves Peace, Love, and Shoes!!

Love With Your Head and Not Just Your Heart

The concept of love has been romanticized, sprayed with perfume and wrapped up in a pretty bow for a long time. The “idea” of love is always more attractive then the reality of love and that what has tainted people’s expectations of relationship should be. The butterflies in the stomach are nice and the euphoria of new love is amazing but there come a point when you have to make the hard decision of “Is love enough?” Case in point my I was IN LOVE with my ex-boyfriend, I mean crazy all consuming, irrational, head over heels in love. At he beginning it was wonderful, he courted me, he treated me like a princess and as much as I resisted I feel hard. The problem was as much as I loved him the stars and the glitter faded and the reality of who he was became clear and it did not match up with what what i wanted for my live in the present and the future. I mean it OK for opposite to attract but we were becoming like night and day. He was a smoker and I was a non-smoker, I was churchgoing and he had dubious feeling about God and religion. I valued family and maintained close bond with them and he barely spoke to his. I had to decide if love was enough to make up for the differences and if in the long run would it be enough to sustain the lone haul.

As you can obviously tell by me referring to him as my EX-boyfriend, I decided love was not enough. I had to be realistic with myself, with what I wanted for that moment and for the future. I wouldn't be happy in the long run just living on love and not thinking about marriage, kids, money, faith, careers, and ambitions. My heart said I love him but my head said is this going to be a real functional long-term relationship?, and sadly the answer was No! Cut to almost 2 year later I am in a new relationship, in LOVE, happy and with someone that make sense to both my heart and my head, and I have no regrets about the decision I made.

Cheaper to Keep Her

So as much as I have other important thing going on in my life and not much time for the proverbial BS and the gossip (well I do have a little time, gossip blogs are addictive). I had and interesting conversation this weekend with one of my male friends about the whole Nas and Kelis situation (not familiar Google it). His position was that it is crazy that Nas has to pay her (Kelis) so much money and just because she had his baby she still does not need that much money. Not surprisingly most of my male friends expressed similar sentiments. My opinion is it has nothing to do with male or female you shouldn't’t need a judge to make you want to take care of your family. Britney Spears had pay a monumental amount to her ex in child support and alimony monthly because of the kids and to keep him in a life that he was a custom to while they were married explain to me why Nas shouldn't do the same? It based on your income not just some man hating judge out to get men and make them pay. Russell Simmons pays his ex $40,000 a month in child support and did it without a judge’s order he said because he want to take care of his children.....so tell me why it so WRONG the amount that Nas has to pay Kelis (his wife) and for his child. If they could have handled it behind the scenes there would have been no need for a court order forcing him to pay, and why should you be forced to PAY for your own child, step up and do the right thing! And as far as the alimony she wasn't working the whole time they were married, he knew that and he knew who he was marrying. When was the last time you heard a Kelis album REALLY like 2004. He had no problem with it before when things were good now he doesn't want to pay, I don't feel sorry for him at all…....ever heard the saying it’s cheaper to keep her, guess Nasir just found that out!

Just Because....

Will Demps is so damn fine I hade to post this pic.....Enjoy
Thanks to Panache Report for this delicious pic.

Just Because Its Friday....

If this doesn't make your day better then give up and try again tomorrow, and when you have no one else to blame...... blame it in "the boogie"!

Let Go If Its Not Working!

Let begin by stating the obvious: Relationships are hard work!
They are compromise, struggle, and often sacrifice. It take a lot of effort on both parties part to help the relationship thrive. with that being said there is a difference between working on your relationship and struggling in a relationship that doesn't work. Case in point my relationship with my ex-boyfriend (quintessential tattooed up bad boy) there was ALWAYS an issues, it was a constant fight on every basis level to make it work (me doing most of the work). It just wasn't healthy for both of us (but especially me). He even proposed to me by text message (I am sooo serious, but that is another story for another time) I had to break it off. If your relationship is always coming apart at the seams, stop running in with needle and thread trying to repair it. If its always broke don't fix it THROW IT OUT COMPLETELY!
My message for today is: Don't keep trying to fix a relationship that is clearly not working, don't be afraid to walk away. If its a struggle just to simply be together you are better apart!

song of the day: I Just Wanna Be Loved- Jill Scott

Hosea Chanchez - New Music

I had to post this because I adore Hosea Chanchez from the show The Game. This is new music from him that i jacked from Concrete Loop (http://concreteloop.com)

Follow the link and tell me what you think: http://concreteloop.com/2009/07/hot-or-not-hosea-kancer

What is the Appeal?

Ok I'm in the mood for a random rant, this is what happens when your home all day with too much time on your hands. This is my top 5 list of people or things that I don's understand other people's love for...

1. Drake- you will always be Wheelchair Jimmy from Dregrassi to me, you aren't really bringing anything new to hip hop. so whats all the excitement about? (and we are not even gonna discuss "The Breast I Ever Had Video"


2. Jay-Z DOA-....aren't you supposed to be retired


3. The Stanky Leg, The Booty Do, The Jerk and every other stupid ass dance that I've seen teenage boys in tight ass jean doing over the past 9 months


4. VH1's "Love of" Shows- get some self esteem ladies and a visit to the free clinic will be in order


5. The Real Housewives of Atlanta & New Jersey- if you Black, Italian, or a white girl with a bad wig I'd like to introduce you to the caricature the rest of the world now thinks you are

Lazy Saturday & Drama Free Summer

I keep seeing the trailer for GI Joe and i have questions, When did Marlon Wayans become the sexy one? Didn't see that one coming, but now I've got even more incentive to want to see it. It was so damn hot today I didn't leave the house, passed on going to a BBQ, but the night is now breezy and calm. I may go out for drinks with the girls, we went out Thursday night for the usual drinks, food, girl talk combo at Applebee's and we had the worst waiter EVER.
Anyway the summer so far have been drama free (knock on wood). No ex-boyfriends who won't stay EX and no issues with the current boyfriend. Me and the girls are still are making plans to hit Miami in a couple of weeks I'll keep you posted!

Later

Vacation and MJ Burnout

Ok I know everybody has weighted in on Michael Jackson's passing but I've got to weight in on it, so let me have my official Chris Crocker moment and say LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE. Let the poor man rest in peace. He is gone now, stop exploiting him and his memory. If speculation were dollars then we be out of this recession! I'm suffering MJ burnout, I've been a fan since I was a kid but with all this continualy coverage the media has fished this lake dry. Let the man's family grieve, let his kids have some privacy, and please do not give Joe Jackson another reason to be anywhere on my television. I been on vacation for last 2 week and I go back on Friday.....it was fun while it lasted. I get another week off in August hopeful me and the girls can get down Miami if my funds are right...the recession is real y'all!

Later

My Soundtrack of the Day- N.E.R.D- She Wants To Move